6 weeks after

Here I am at 6 weeks and 26 pounds gone! Things are going good, some days are better then others. I think I was thinking all the weight would be gone over night. Well guess what its still here. I am working out and tiring to eat better. Please wish me luck!

Once again more photos to follow!!!

Before Surgery

Alright here is my before pictures... I hope that next year you are all surprised!!!

More picture to follow!

1 week down

so this has been a terrible week. I never thought in a million years that it would be this hard. I understand that in 6 months I will be loving life, but for today its the first day with no tears!

Surgery went well I got home and it all went down hill. I'm not sure what is going on if I didn't get enough saline in the lap band but I still get hungry quite often. Then there is the fact that I don't want soup I want MC Donald's. I want a big mac and cant have one. I was told not to worry that I'm like a drugy that is in detox and that it will get better with time.

I am scared to think that they want me on a liquid diet for so long. I am needing real food. Everything is going right through me. So I finally decided to eat the veggies in the soup and eat the beans in the bean with bacon soup. Its a little easy now that I am a week into it, but still I don't know how much more I can handle.

I keep telling myself that I go into the doctor on March 2 and then he will make everything better. I'm just a little discouraged right now.

I have also been getting alot of advise that I'm not sure I should be taking. All along I have said I want to do this to get healthy, and that I don't care on how much I lose. Well one of the lady's that I have been talking to is in it to lose it, and all of it. SO she has my mind on that I will never be able to eat the food that I love and that I can only eat lean cuisines. I didn't know that is what I signed up for. I don't want to have a life without food, I want a life with healthier food and a little fun food every so often.

So needless to say I cant talk to her anymore. I need to be happy again and talking with her I get sad. But like I said today there were no tears and that is a first. So I do know that there is a light at then end of the tunnel I cant see it yet but I will eventually!!!

The Day Before

Today is the day before my surgery. Am I scared you ask....YES! I have all the confidence in the world that I will be fine and that nothing will go wrong. But yes I am still going to be put under and have a recovery period. Then from this point on my life will be changed.

I made it this last 2 weeks, and it was a hard 2 weeks. But I am very proud of myself and what I have done thus far. I will post in a couple of days and let you know how things are going, but for now see you later!

A few days to go

Well here I sit thinking about what I am about to do. Yes I am very excited about my choice but I am also scared to death. I want to lose the weight more then anything but do I really understand what I am about to do?

We are driving into Hope on Tuesday night and we have to be at the hospital by 7:00 am. Kevin, Paige and I will be going. The boys are going to stay at the Charlton's house.

Kevin talked to the doctors office Thursday and Erin the nurse said that she was going to try and be down there that day. She said that she would make sure that all was OK. I called her later that day to see if there was something that she could give me for my nerves, she said no but that as soon as I got there they would give me something in my IV.

The 2 week diet is going alright. Yes there are days that are harder then other days but really I am getting use to things. Don't get me wrong I am counting the days until I am done with it but for now I think I can handle a few more days!

Other then that all is going good. (I think!) I'm not craving soda, but I am craving chips. So I guess you win some and you lose some!

Update

Well we are in the weekend, and its going alright. I don't know that I am doing all that I should be doing but I am trying!

I have a shake for breakfast and for lunch then I have had jerky for a snack with crackers. Then for dinner I eat what everyone else is eating just less then usual. The bad thing is I am always hungry. When I eat at night it makes me sick. I know that after I have the surgery it will get better for the fact that I wont be hungry anymore.

I went and worked out everyday this week. I have loved it, yes it kicked my butt, but I survived! I am glad its the weekend.

I found a yogurt that had 12g of protein in it, which is very good, but the yogurt was terrible. I decided that even though the others had 5-7g I would take it. I have been stressed about everything and I don't want to stress about that!

You might find me crazy but I start stressing over the little things. Am I ever going to eat again, am I ever going to have the wheel power to do everything. Only time will tell.

2 Weeks and counting!!!

OK so today I started my 2 week diet. For some reason it has been a hard day for me. For the last few weeks I haven't had any real cravings, then today when I cant eat it I want it all. The thought of a chip sounds so good. The thought of something sweet is almost more then I can handle. I'm staying strong and will TRY not to faultier but I am human...

I started working out at the fitness center full time this week. I really am loving it but my body hurts from every angle. I want to cry most of the time but I will get it a little time, then as soon as I am getting the hang of it, it will be time to take 8 weeks off. Oh well what can a girl do?!?!

The last few days I have had alot of tears, I'm really not sure why but I can guess. My nerves are getting the worst of me. I want to be strong and I know I will be victorious but I'm scared to death.

Im still here

OK so I haven't told you yet that I have given up soda. I started this last Monday and really I hadn't missed it until the weekend. I really haven't even thought about it until then, and I think that's because the kids where home and they are trying to drink it so its out of the house. But I have held strong and not had any. I keep crossing my fingers that it stays this easy. I was tempted but I did not partake and it was over. Will it always be that easy?

I quit Curves this week also so that I could start going to Conway Fitness Center. I hope it was a good choice. I tried out the Zumba class this last week and loved it. They have a daycare for Paige that she can be in for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours at night. The kids an go swimming or play basketball. So I am excited! We didn't sign Kevin up yet because baseball is getting ready to start and there will be no time for him to go. So for now it is me and the kids.

I had a minor set back last night. I am starting to freak out. I cant believe that we are 2 weeks away. Don't get me wrong I am so excited and I know this is what I need to do. But the thought of giving the food up I love the most scares me. I know that some are saying what ever its only food, but I challenge you to give up what you have loved for so long. I understand that I will learn to love other things and this will be fare better then the treats I am giving up, but at this point I have nothing to show for it but the fact I cant eat it. Give me a couple of months and I will be happy.

Until next time! This week I am starting my 2 week diet so there should be alot to complain about!!!

Set Back

So I guess its not really a set back, but I tried a strawberry shake that they gave me to taste and it was the grossest thing that I have ever tried. I have been going the slim fast shakes and they haven't been bad but this was terrible. All I could think was if I have to have this for 2 weeks I cant do it. I wasn't going to make it.

So today I tried one of the vanilla shakes. That is the flavor that I will be doing for the 2 weeks. I opened the container and smelled it and it smelled like cake mix. It was a great smell. Then I tasted it and it tasted just like cake mix. So I decided I might be able to make it. After chugging it I was really wanting to find the toilet, but I didn't I kept it down. Its not that it was bad but have you ever had to drink and entire cup of cake mix, it gets old fast.

As for now I think that I can make the 2 weeks, I also think that after the surgery I will be going back to slim fast. But I can handle anything for 2 weeks. (at least I am praying I can!)

I have a few other things to share, but I will have to do that on another day. As for now I am really doing well I think!

Protein Shakes...

So I had to give it a few days before I wrote about the Protein Shakes, I didn't know how I would do on them. Well I have decided that they aren't that bad at this point.

The first day was not good, I drank the shake and it tasted like a really thick chocolate milk. So really not to bad. Then the rest of the day I had water, what a mistake. So that ment all the rest of the day I had the taste of that shake in my mouth. By the end of the night I needed to puck. I couldn't imagine the thought of having to drink another shake in the morning. So I finally had something with flavor to drink, and as soon as I did that the thought of the shake in the morning wasn't bad anymore.

Don't get me wrong they aren't my first choice of something good to have, but really I might be able to handle this.

Monday is the day that I start the no drinking soda. This one scares me for the main fact that I LOVE my Dr Pepper. So until my next adventure...

No drinking!

So the last 2 days I have taken drinking out during meal times. Yes it sounds like a little thing but its not. They said after surgery I cant drink until 30-45 minutes after I eat. So as the drink sits there on the table for the kids it calls to me. It says "Lindsee come and get me, you know you want to have a little sip, what will it hurt just try me everyone is doing it!" Yes at this Point I have been the bigger person and not drank during meal times. Yes it is also getting easier, but my problem comes when I walk away from the table and think OK I'm good, then I forget to drink for hours and if I do this much longer then I will start getting dehydrated. I never realized how much of my drinking is done at the dinner table.
Kevin has been a big help, he is doing everything with me. So I called him at work to see how his lunch went with no drinking. Here is the conversation that we had.
Lindsee:So how was your lunch with no drink?
Kevin:......... (that means he was silent)
Lindsee:Well that tells me everything, you had a drink.
Kevin:Well see I forgot until I had a drink.
Lindsee:Thanks for the support.
As wonderful of a husband that I have, and as much as he is helping me. I do have to stand alone. But I will be VICTORIOUS!
Tomorrow I will be starting a protein shake in the mornings, wish me luck because I am NOT excited about it!

It Starts today...

What can I say, but my new life starts today...
I have decided to journal my adventure in having a lap-band. Its a device that is put around your stomach so you don't eat as much and you can start losing weight. I decided that I need to blog it so I can let out all my fears, excitement, and just to get me through some of the ruff spots ahead of me.
I am overweight and have decided to take me life back. On February 17, 2010 I will go to Hope Arkansas to have surgery. From that point on everyday will be something new for my family an me to share.
Before the surgery even takes place I have to start preparing for it. On February 2 I will start a 2 week liquid diet. In the morning and at lunch I will drink protein shakes, then a lite dinner. Will I make it through those 2 weeks that has yet to be decided. But there no time like the present time to find out. So for the next 2 weeks I will be starting to implement a few changes to my life so that its not such a shock for me.
They told me that I can no longer drink at meal time. I will have to wait until 30-45 minutes after I eat to drink. I will be drinking one shake every morning to get me ready to try and drink the second one. I am going to take soda pop out of my life now, and try and not eat as many sweets. Wish me luck because YES I will need it.
I will try and keep you posted to let you know how things are going and also share my story with how I got to this point. SO if you have time and wish come and take a journey with me...